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Scarface

2009-12-24T18:23:00.000-08:00

Time for a little tribute.

Flairy Flair

2009-12-24T18:08:00.000-08:00

HHH the World Champ slams the door and says Steph that’s not my kid, his wearing glittery robes already! His meant to have long nose and a big crayon. Steph goes he should of had the Nose but the big crayon? not to sure. HHH goes you saying Ric gives it better, Steph says I isn’t saying I was feeling it. Vince comes behind HHH and says you were a 10 time world champion. My daughter found better and got in bed with a 23 time world champion. HBK is behind McMahon and says Hunter doesn’t need to be a dad cause his already got a groupie of babes that his been pumping over the past decade. Ric Flair comes behind HBK saying Woooh! Ric sees em and Ric nails em wooooooh!. HBK nails him in the mouth and HHH jumps Vince and they both do the crotch chops. Vince goes dammit this will be a tag match at the PPV, Me & Ric v HHH & HBK.

Ric Flair gets battered by DX causing Vince to run outside the arena.

Stephanie comes out laughing and so is HHH, HBK says what’s going on Hunter. Steph says we set all this up and HHH nods his head. HBK says but Flair, HHH says Flair was in it to. HBK says we beat the crap out of him. HHH says Flair is desperate to be on the card so he takes the beating. What about Vince?. HHH says Vince didn’t know about this and HBK turns around rubbing his chin and HHH pedigrees him. HHH joins Steph and she says “we got rid of Vince, next we are gonna take the WWE over”.

Kristy Majors Wasted

2009-07-15T18:03:00.000-07:00

Offices Creative Part One

2009-07-15T18:01:00.000-07:00

John Cena is in Titan Towers sneaking around at night. He has a camera with him & says that he will uncover that he is being destroyed creatively. He goes people liked him before but now he is treated like a person who has just joined a Hollywood faith.

Cena sneaking around, opens his fly’s & pulls out his torch. He goes it makes sense as he is on the mission to prove that same finish after finish at every ppv, there is something wrong going on. Cena is on the 5th floor & hears some employees walking by, he quickly hides behind the bin. The female employee say's to the other female employee, we need to stick together in this male dominated society, its us against them. Cena is standing still & trying not to laugh so he does not get caught. The lady goes to the other female employee, lets fight the men in this world by licking each others vaginas. Cena mutters that’s the way to protest, men are really gonna hate that.

One of them goes did you hear that, the other goes nah its probably just the wind. Cena mutters yeah probably your vaginal fart-ation. The female employee says lets go to the other female employee & they get into the 69er. Cena trying not to move, is laughing while hiding out on the other side. After a few minutes the women stop & stand up. They spit all the fluids on the side where Cena is hiding. The ladies go that was extra this time, wait some more & spit more on Cena. They then leave & Cena gets up saying oaaaaaahhhh aaaaaaah, that fn shit is all over me, man I feel like I was just born. Cena then goes in the office & gets a few paper towels & wipes himself. So Cena looks at the room & it says creative, he goes to the filing cabinet & says come to papa wwe creativity. Cena opens the cabinet & his smile turns to a frown.

Offices Creative Part Two

2009-07-15T17:57:00.000-07:00

Cena goes odd theres no files in the cabinet. What do creative do all the time & then hears some orgasmic screams upstairs, that explains it. He notices some tugging at the leg, there is Ariel & Thorn in the cabinet also, ready to join us in our gothic lust mere wasted essence they reply. Cena goes maybe next time when I want to make love with the Addams family & Uncle Fester, I will give you guys a shout! & slams the door shut.

Then he sees the door opens, goes oh no! & there in Cena fan merchandise is Eugene. Cena goes could you repeat that? What the hell are you doing here. Eugene says I writa the WWE storylines & droppa them off evey week. Cena goes that explains the happy pride workforce holding down there jobs in wwe creative & spitting there ejaculation fluids on me.

Eugene goes calma down, its ok I complete 2 months worth of creative storylines & pats him on his back. Eugene laughs, U sticky, u playa with a crayon huh, ehhh uuuh Eugene playa with crayon all the time at night. Cena goes well that’s good to hear but can you cut the insults about my crayon, I am little sensitive about my size.

Eugene goes bye I go homie now, Cena goes take care man. Then Cena sneaks his way to Stephs office. When he is in the office he looks at the table & notices the 'who to bury file'. He goes man Trips & Steph get real busy. All of a sudden the door starts to move. Cena goes “shit where do I hide, ummmm the cabinet, no I do not need a yeoooow” & eventually decides to hide under the table. Suddenly in comes HHH and throws Steph on the table. He slowly walks & gets on the table also on top of her. He pulls out his sledge hammer & goes sledgie time, Steph starts to make noises & shouting the sledgie is good in my wedgie. Cena underneath goes “please please no more sticky shit on me”. While Steph & HHH are being edgy, Cena slowly sneaks out of the window. He lands safely outside because he is wearing Airs that’s why.

Motley Crue Live Wire

2009-05-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

Check out this alternate more faster livewire , you know its good.

No Cameras

2009-05-14T16:08:00.000-07:00

Ever wondered what the wrestling world is up to when the cameras close? And the storylines kind of finish?

Carlito is angry backstage & finds a mascara in his pocket, which says property to Lito from Edge, he mutters who is Lito & why do I have this in my pocket. Edge shakes his head muttering only if you knew.

Batista on his mobile phone, talking to his latest girlfriend Kayrina. I am so glad I met you as my previous 7th girlfriend was expecting to much just like the fans. “You know what do the fans do other than sacrifice there time and pay there money. Yet they still expect me to sign autographs, come on and let me tell you about dedication”

Ariel is catching a night train home to paradise city as she has just been future endeavearoed. Vince said she lost her fangs and without her fangs she cannot be a main attraction. Also the guys are scared about her appetite for yeooooooooow’s.

Boogey Man is talking to his research team member on his mobile phone about the groundbreaking scientific research he does in his spare time. He says he has just invented the first plastic that also conducts electricity.

Majojo Bentley is waiting for Todd Grisham who is his new boyfriend, a fashion designer from Mozambique. Todd Grisham meets and greets him in true fashion. On the way home Todd Grisham replies “This will teach Cena for walking down that aisle”

Armando Aleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeejandro Estrada is lighting up a cigar. Other than adding to global warming, what other dangers do smoking ciggerettes/cigars have? Says Armando Aleeeeeeeeeeejandroooooo Estrada.......Randy Orton replies, “my friend that is so true, there are no dangers”. “Lets take in some sweet sweet puffs”

Vince Russo riding a bicycle while he is humming. A bird hits on his crotch & the beak gets stuck.

More storylines to follow.

Ratt Lack of Communication

2009-02-18T08:21:00.000-08:00

Yeooooooooow Uncut Part One

2008-10-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

Hardcore Holly is sitting in his sofa & catching up with all the soaps, as he has a passion for them. He is sipping some juice which he got from Test, which he spits out as it starts to give him bacne. He leaves the juice & drys his eyes as the soaps make him cry.

Holly has a match coming up & goes to the ring, just as he is about to win he loses. This makes him fall lower down the pecking order for the prestigious prestigious ECW title which even Ric Flair couldn’t win.

After Holly comes back he starts to smash his truck & says “dammit I cant win nothing”

Next week before his match he goes to the fridge, which he brought from Big D. He gets some ice, & goes “odd its like someone has been toying with this fridge” while he is taking the ice cubes one falls in his pants. Hardcore Holly gets a little stiff & makes some sound (like a cat meowww but his are yeoww yeoww noises, the y people is the difference. This gets him all motivated for the match & he beats Snitsky.

Back in the parking lot he goes, “that’s the way I win my damn matches, damn I need a yeoww everyweek”

Vince sees him in the hall & says Hardcore Holly two more matches & for the next ppv I will book you for the ECW title. Hardcore Holly replies “damn I cant wait”, Vince goes “That’s what I like about you Hardcore, slowly moving his head down “your ruthless juice induced nipples” & has a good feel.

Hardcore Holly sees the ECW interviewer & says he needs a quick one. “Since you’re a diva? This comes naturally for you” ECW interviewer nods her head & starts her vacuuming, with Holly yeoowwwwww yeooooooowING.

Hardcore again wins the match, Tazz goes I don’t know what motivates Holly so much but I want some of it too. Joey Styles say’s well we do it in commentary every week.

Continued in part two below.

Yeooooooooow Uncut Part Two

2008-10-08T10:54:00.000-07:00

The 2nd week he has to have a match against Carlito & this time he makes Torrie give him the yeoooww yeooooow. Carlito is so focused/motivated that he cannot be beat & he is fully focused on wrestling as he is never lazy.

Hardcore plays the video of Torrie yeooowing him on the titantron & Carlito gets distracted. Hardcore rolls up Carlito for the quick victory.

Again back in the parking lot goes “Damn I beat that bastard, what a vocabulary I have also if I may add”

Backstage Thorn & the Ariel are flying like bats but actually they are on strings but it feeds there gothic aspirations. Thorn says we will give him one hell of yeeeoow & they both cannot stop laughing.

Hardcore Holly next week returns with one match away to the ECW title. He see’s the matchup & says “this one is gonna be to easy, I can wait to beat that damn bastard”

Hardcore Holly knocks on a wardrobe which says Thorn, cause Thorn & Ariel go to sleep upside down.

Anyway Hardcore finds no one in the wardrobe, all of a sudden out of no where appears Ariel and starts to scratch Hardcores crotch with her long pointy nails. Hardcore replies “Oh well you already figured Ariel, damn Ariel pump me up”

Ariel scratching her hands around the floor & moving on her knees locks into Hardcores dick. Hardcore starts off with “yyyaahishishi ye ye ye yeooooooooooow” then all of sudden Hardcores smile turns upside down as he starts to scream. Then the next thing we see is Hardcore running around with blood & white stuff shooting out like a hose. Ariel has Hardcore’s meat in her mouth which she bit off with her fangs.
While Hardcore is screaming, Thorn puts his arm around Hardcore & says “there there never get a yeoooow from a Lady with fangs. The next thing we see is Ariel putting her head up in front of Hardcore & making a Vince like swallow. A loud Ariel burp indicates digestion. Hardcore screaming just faints muttering damn. With Ariel & Thorn doing a slow-mo Tango dance and the story ends.

P2V Final Part Four

2008-08-31T23:01:00.000-07:00

The camera zooms into HHH and Gabriel Batistuta who are now outside in the car park fighting. They are heavily blowing each other as they are quite muscled up. HHH grabs a sledge hammer and Gabriel Batistuta the hero from Florence ducks. He then picks HHH up and powerbombs him on the concrete car park floor. JR goes Oh my Good God The pwbequalizer ........the pwbequaliser......that had so much impact that the concrete must have cracked HHH’s spine. Gabriel Batistuta flexes his muscles.....I am the hero from Florence. While HHH is lying unconscious. Stephanie runs out to aid HHH and they load him up into a blue ambulance, which on the side it says going to Smackdown.

After the break Raw returns and Vince is walking around in the storage area. He suddenly bumps into the Holy Ministers Spozk/Scozzy leading to a fight starting. Eventually they are headlocking each other. Scozzy has Vince in a headlock and Vince has Spozk in a head lock. Vince mutters to Todd pass me your magic left sided tool we used in the sack. So Todd pulls out a mini flask labeled protein juice and he diligently swallows every last drop of it. Then his pants start to expand making his crotch area a leaning tent like structure. Todd then gets on his knees near Scozzy, Vince and Spozk. Vince lets one arm go and says give it to me Todd. Todd then grabs Vinces hand and puts it on his magic left sided tool area. Vince gets a good grip and with the power/pressure of holding on to Todds magic left sided tool, Vince is able to make Spozk pass out. He then starts to put a sleeper on Scozzy and makes him pass out also. Then Vince puts the Holy Ministers into a crate and nails it shut. Vince then heads to the titantron to make an announcement that he is back in control of WWE and Todd follows walking sideways again to not get noticed.

Much later on in a freight plane the holy ministers inside the crate wake up. Spozk goes wait a minute, I can feel another person in here. Scozzy goes oh my god and Goldust jumps on him hee hee hee hee....badonka donk time. For those of you wondering where the holy ministers end up? well on the crate it says "To, Jackos Neverland".

-The final part to the P2V storyline and the previous three parts are below.

P2V Part Three

2008-07-17T13:23:00.000-07:00

After all have a good look at each other HHH says you know Steph I cant believe you got high by dealing with that chump. Stephanie interrupts and says I cant believe you were exercising with that muscle whore. Victoria goes I am no muscle whore, me and Hunter had the best push workout of our lives in the boiler room!!!. And you know what we made the temperature go over 100 degrees. Stephanie is now boiling and just jumps onto Victoria as they both start to cat fight. Gabriel Batistuta tries to break up the fighting between Stephanie and Victoria. Just as he is about to put his hand on Stephanie’s shoulder, HHH whacks Gabriel Batistuta in the face. The fighting is going on between them and all over backstage.

While this is going on the camera zooms into a room where Vince is still stuck in the sack with Todd Grisham. Vince goes to Todd whats that thing next to your left leg, you know it seems to be pressuring into my right thigh. Todd embarrassingly mutters oh its just a something. Vince goes well what ever it is, it seems to be strong enough to make a hole into the sack. Vince goes so pass me the thing next to your left leg. Todd goes I could but you know its kind of hard. What do you mean kind of hard Vince Replies? Todd goes ok lets both hit it into the sack. Vince goes genius Todd the more force we can apply. Todd goes yeah and Vince goes where shall I grab it? Todd goes just at the top and Vince grabs it. Todd goes ooooooh that’s good I mean a good hold. Vince goes wow it seems to be expanding. Todd tries to hide his sensations of Vince’s hold and manages to mutter it’s a very strong tool. Vince goes I bet it is and goes 1 2 3 4 and then hits it into the sack. The sack RIPS into two due to the force of Todds left sided tool. Vince getting up while dusting his clothes says now onto the Holy Ministers dammit. Todd gets up slowly trying not to show his left side to Vince and so walks sideways behind him.

-To be continued in the final fourth part

P2V Part Two

2008-06-02T16:10:00.000-07:00

While JR is speaking the cameras zoom into a room backstage where Vince and Todd Grisham are stuck in the sack. Vince can be heard cursing in the sack while Todd is really enjoying himself being this stuck with Vince. The cameras zoom out and onto the titantron where The Holy Ministers Spozk and Scozzy open up RAW. Holy Minister Spozk says to the audience, we are here to save you people. You people do not need big breasted women (crowd shouts we need calcium). Instead me and my fellow compatriot Holy Minister Scozzy will be making some changes to Raw. The first change we will make......

As they are speaking the shattered dreams music plays and out comes Gold (breathe in) Dust. He starts off by saying Cut cut cut cut hee hee hee....I am meant to be making my return tonight by selling gold sex toys. Goldust says one more thing you guys could come backstage in my dressing room and help me with some market research. While Goldust picks out a gold whip and hits it on his pvc costume tish tish.

Holy Minister Scozzy interrupts this is the exact type of person that we want to lead to rightness. We are fed up of seeing people destroying there lives by being obsessed with gold costumes. Goldust slowly puts his head down and starts to shed a few tears. Its true I use this gold costume to get the beautiful peoples attention. Holy Minister Scozzy comes out of the ring and says give me a hug my soon to be convert. While Holy Minister Scozzy is putting his arms out, Goldust grabs him laughing out loud hee hee hee and doesn’t let go. Goldust says convert me while putting emphasis on his backside. Holy Minister Spozk runs up to the ramp and pulls out his holy knob and wacks Goldust in the backside with it. Goldust crashes to the ground muttering oh my what a huge knob!

While this is going on Stephanie and Victoria have an altercation backstage and hate is running high between the two as Victoria has been muscling in on HHH. Just as either is about to say something in enters HHH from one door and Gabriel Batistuta enters from the other door. Gabriel Batistuta is the newest call up from ovw and has been dealing with Stephanie as she was high on him. The scene heats up as all four look at each other and the more they look at each other, the more the love/betrayal unfolds.

-To be continued in part three and part one is below.

P2V Part One

2008-04-05T06:29:00.000-07:00

The Ship crash lands in some murky hood. Vince goes I hope they have hotels in here, Todd you go around to Hotels? maybe we should go to one of them. I wouldn’t mind some entertainment either Todd. Todd goes I don’t think you would want to go to the hotels that I go too. He goes Todd I never thought Steph would run me out of WWE. I wonder how HHH & Steph got so much power over these years? It was never obvious to me. Todd goes agree Sir sarcastically its never been noticeable has it. While they are talking they get approached by a gang in which the leader says whats poppin? Vince goes I am able-bodied & so is Todd. Vince gets asked so what you guys doing in this place its obvious you don’t live here. Vince explains the story with the trouble he had with HHH & Steph. Grand Master P to the V says I could just help you out.

HHH & Chyna sex tape is handed to Vince by the rapper Grand Master P to the V. Vince says how did you find this tape & P2V replies we got connections. Vince does a hip hop style handshake with all P2V crew & P2V says to Vince I think your assistant Todd gets his Tortilla seasoned. Vince goes I see I will make some recommendations for him.

Vince goes back to WWE & interrupts the WWE take over celebration by HHH & Steph. He says you see I got a tape with HHH & his old woman Chyna in action. Steph grabs HHH arms you said it wasn’t scientifically possible to have sex with Chyna. HHH getting red, Vince replies with a grin I think HHH found a way!

Then Victoria comes out & says to HHH that she loves him. She goes she aint been on tv recently not due to creative but she has been doing it with HHH in the boiler room. HHH says to Steph I am sorry I just cant resist muscle on women. Stephanie takes off her stiletto heel shoe & hits HHH in the nuts & he crashes to the ground. Vince goes I also have pictures of Steph & the younger wrestler that you want to push hard. Steph its more the case of how hard he has been pushing you. Victoria jumps Stephanie. Vince does a little strut to say I got my company back & a main event feud all in one night. While Vince starts break dancing he then gets ambushed by the Holy Religious Ministers & is put in a sack. Todd says wait & jumps into the sack with Vince also.

-To be continued in part two.

Ratt Back for More

2008-02-21T05:26:00.000-08:00

Vince The Gorilla

2008-01-29T11:32:00.000-08:00

Here is a storyline which I wrote quite sometime ago, hope you enjoy it. I also would like to add that the Vince McMahon character is the best character to write storylines about and the Kanyon character also.

Vince mistakes coke for sugar and puts it in his lemonade which he drinks. Slowly Vince starts to make stupid decisions becoming a party animal hooked to this sugar. He looks at his watch to see when RAW would end, so he can go jive.
The next RAW he makes chaotic decisions, which are true in real life, he makes John Cena an announcer because he cant wrestle and tells Lita she can sleep with anyone she wants including him.
Vince organises a party on the same RAW. Later you can hear Car Wash (song) playing from his room and lights. Todd Grisham is dancing naked around Vince, Vince is wearing a gorilla costume minus the mask and pulling out some old skool disco moves.
There are female strippers nude whose boobs are bouncing, Vince eyes up one of them and they go for it while Vince is still dancing standing up. Shane McMahon outside calls Linda and says Dads lost it.
Later Linda busts in, turns off the music and goes oh my god Vince and runs out. Vince says NO Linda! and takes the strippers legs wrapped around him off and runs after Linda. He then slips down 100’s of stairs as he is wearing the costume. Later he is in hospital and cant remember a thing.

Disco Inferno

2008-01-15T09:21:00.000-08:00

Disco Inferno (wrestler in travolta suit and making this curtain jerker Goldberg look good) is one of the all time wrestling legends as he quite simply revolutionised wrestling. You know we have Technical wrestlers, High Flying wrestlers, Lucha Lucha wrestlers, Mat wrestlers and Heaven knows what else wrestlers. But Disco Inferno was unlike all of them and decided not to fall in any of those categories. You know he innovated and pioneered the art known as disco wrestling, thats right disco wrestling. Currently the disco wrestling style is at an all time high with two wrestlers practicing the art. Which is a pretty amazing statistic if I might add. One is in Croatia and the other is in Swaziland. So watch out for them in WWE/TNA in the years to come and as soon as their countries invest in airports. So expect more hip entrances in the future like Disco Fever.....I mean Disco Feva as you got to say it right. Disco Feva..Disco Feva..Disco Feva..Disco Feva..Disco Feva..yeah yeah yeah.. he is so cool.. he is the disco rendezvous.......

Lastly two posts down check out my two brand spunking new storylines.

The Bridge

2008-01-03T17:32:00.000-08:00

Backstage hours before Smackdown in the carpark lobby Murdoch sees Kristal. He gets down on the floor and is muttering the words sara-coose sara- cooooose as he moves his hands artistically towards her. He slowly makes his way into Kristals pa-peen-pa-pow region. His tongue slowly thrusts into Kristals pa-peen-pa-pow region. The more she oooooohs as deeper his tongue buds go. After the tantalising sensations Murdoch tries to pull out his tongue but cannot!!! Kristal goes hurry ooooooooh ahh up!!!!!!!! Get your tongue out and clean up already as the show starts shortly. Murdoch still cannot as his tongue is knotted in. So Kristal sees Batista parking his car and says Batista ahhh come here!!!!

Batista runs in like superman and says what is it Kristal my dear? Kristal says help help Murdochs tongue is stuck in my pa-peen-pa-pow region!!!!

So Batista flexes his arms and moves his legs far apart and tries to pull Murdoch out. He grips Murdochs belly button region with his arms and then pulls Murdoch into him really hard. Things do not go to plan as Murdoch is hanging in the air after the hard inward pull by Batista. As his behind gets connected to Batistas penis and his tongue is still knotted in Kristals pa-peen-pa-pow region.

The situation to an innocent passer by with a clean mind would look like, Batista is air bumming Murdoch and Kristal is getting oraled at the same time in her pa-peen-pa-pow region . It becomes more convincing as they wriggle and try to unconnect. This carries on long into the night and all three miss there matches as they are knotted to tightly. Eventually they decide to just do it and call it a bridge threesome.

News Cast Part One

2008-01-03T17:19:00.000-08:00

Heres one when Jeff Hardy got suspended in mid 2007. I thought it would be funny to make it into a late night news discussion thing.

Hello I am Trent Gannigan (TG) the hunky news host from Doomnocracy News, Today on the hotline we have former WCW/ WWE Wrestler Chris Kanyon (K) on the Phone. He will have a regular segment with us & will be discussing the latest ongoings in the wrestling business. Giving us his views & such.

Kanyon interrupts also the leader of Team Home-O the home for homosexuals.

TG: Yes Kanyon is also the spiritual leader of Team Home-O, but onto the topic in hand. Why has Jeff Hardy been missing RAW yesterday.

K: I believe Jeff Hardy is contemplating on joining Team Home-O, hence why he missed Raw. You see coming out is not so easy, as theres a lot of factors to consider. So you need some time to yourself.

Like myself, well actually it’s a funny story. You see years ago some local lady thought it would be funny to say that I made her pregnant. You know I had the authorities asking me to give payments for the child. I ignored the letters as I don’t fuck women, so there was no way I made her preganant. But then one night while me & Markoni were practicing wrestling moves in the bed upstairs. A knock knock happened. Then the next thing that happened is a whole swat stormed my shack. You know that was a wet dream of mine back in my teens. A whole male swat team invades my shack & we party all night singing 'In the Navy'. Well it wasn’t like that dream whatsoever and instead they were saying that they have a warrant to search the shack & uncle toms cabin. So I went along with it & pretended that I made her pregnant. That’s because I did not want people to know that I was gay. But I still enjoyed the all male swat team invading my shack, even if it wasn’t for sexual reasons.

-Continued in part two.

News Cast Part Two

2008-01-03T16:51:00.000-08:00

TG: So you kept this up until you founded Team Home-O?

K: Exactly, I founded Team Home-O on RAW along with Lanky , Shrimp & my long term partner Alice Dragley with the saline pads. Eventually I got annoyed of staying hidden as it was costing me to much. Then I decided to become a spiritual leader for fellow people stuck in the closet. You know like help open the doors for them and thats how I formed Team Home-O. By the way I have stopped making the payments for the child as I am gay as a Welsh daffodil. So the hot guys out there if your watching I can slip into a pair of tight leathers or pvc, whatever takes your fancy.

TG: So this is what Jeff hardy is probably going through? contemplating other avenues of sex?

K: Most certainly yes as why else would he get suspended? Like what else could he do? And I would just like to say that Jeff Hardy if your Listening. Please, Please consider joining Team Home-O as I would like you, I....I mean we will love you hard, I mean care for you.

TG: Wow I am truly amazed about your expertise on wrestling matters. You know its great we the media always get in the right people to discuss issues in wrestling.

K: No thank you for having me and allowing me to spread my knowhow of the wrestling business. And Trent if your interested come by to one of our group sessions winkty wink???

TG: Holy he is hitting on me, time to close the show. That’s all for tonight, till next time (while saying combs his hair back and flexes his muscles, which causes his shirt to rip during the credits)

Big Mamma

2007-12-08T12:24:00.000-08:00

Heres a storyline from my collection that I think you girls/guys will enjoy.

Benjamin is a failure again and his mamma appears again. She notices Vince who has come back from hospital and goes up to him, being playful. She mentions her cave needs to be drilled.

Vince spying on Linda, so he can make up with her. Vince turns around and there is Mamma, she holds him against the wall and says, you must be shy and just need to ask. Vince goes I think your misunderstood, but she goes anytime rubbing her hole.

Then Vince is seen carrying earrings and singing a 50s song, which he bought for Linda, but Big Mamma thinks they are for her and takes them immediately. Vince cant say anything because she is very pushy, Linda walks out of the door and sees, she throws a tantrum running away again.

Vince shouting, says Linda meet me at my office and gets on his knees in desperation. Big Mamma goes to Shelton this is my chance to get you to the top, so she goes into Vinces office and strips live and lays down into the bed, which Vince has ready for Linda.

Vince walks in and takes off his clothes and goes Linda, you made the right decision Dammit. He unzips his flies and goes under the blanket, stops under the front hole section and does his job with his tongue Live. After 30 sec loads of enjoyment noises, Vince goes, you sound a bit different, then after a few sec, he says you feel a bit diff, then another couple of seconds the job is done and Mamma says Vince you are mine in a breathless voice.

Vince gets up out of the blanket and speechless mutters your not Linda. Just in this time Linda walks in and says Oh No, seeing Vince on top of Mamma! Vince turns around wiping his face/lips and says, I can explain Linda, Linda again runs out!

Queen Bohemian Rhapsody

2007-10-02T07:27:00.000-07:00

Marinating Turkeys

2007-09-25T12:38:00.000-07:00

Fuck this is good, Cena is saying while humping Todd Grisham

I want more Todd Grisham is slowly gasping, more mmmmoeree aaahhhhhhh.

Let me load you up is John Cenas response, its about to shoot.

Then all of a sudden a knock on the door happens.

Hello Cena are you in there? Vince knocks on the door.

Yikes Cena goes, I mean yeah I am, just one second

Puts his hand on Todds mouth & cannot get out, quickly puts his towel over Grisham.

Ok come on in Vince, Vince enters & asks what's under the towel?

Lets see it’s a.....Cena mumbling.....Its a turkey, yeah a turkey for Christmas.

Excellent replies Vince but is it not a little early?

For the Cena family, we take pride in marinating turkeys & start early.

Oh ok Vince goes but make sure you save me some, that’s what I like about you Cena.

Always full of moves, when I can say, I have seen a Cena move a million times?

My thoughts exactly Sir, now if you will excuse me I will put this Turkey in my car.

You want a hand offers Vince? Oh No No, its quite attached to me. Cena carries out Todd Grisham to the car ie the kayfabe turkey & takes his hand off Todds Mouth & pushes hard back wards finally unconnecting. Todd Gasps with a feedback orgasm so loud which built up while Vince was talking to Cena, that everyone in the arena hears it & Carlitos cool hair explodes due to the high decibles of the sound, including JR’s hat & Kings Crown. Todd catching his breath putting his glasses back on & his legs in a U shape because of the deep hole, goes wow being stuck on you was exhilarating. John Cena goes dont worry next time I will be the turkey. Todd trying to stand nodds & says I will marinate you then. Oh you will my arse is like a tight clamp.

The End

Theres a hidden message in this storyline, see if you can figure it out?

Minidust

2007-09-13T17:10:00.000-07:00

Hall of Fadomy Part One

2007-09-03T10:07:00.000-07:00

PF looks through the crystal ball & into 2008s HOF ceremony.......

Firstly John Cena opens the show in a sports car, then rides around the show with his motorbike. Gets off & says The Champ is here tonight to help induct some other Champions. Spinal Tap members shaking their heads, while one of the members cigarette falls onto his nylon trousers. The trousers start to melt & he starts jumping up & down saying oooh ahhh just a little bit oooh aaah.

John Cena interrupts & goes before I induct Men, I must let my true love out. Especially after seeing those nylon pants burn on that Rockers skin. What I mean is I do love political rap, booty rap but my real real love ly’s in Spunk Rap. Me & Todd have been hipping, hopping & bending over the rules together in the past few weeks. We have spunked so much that well we have very little spunk left.

Spinal Tap interrupt, with one of the members with burnt nylon stains on his legs covering his genitalia & trying to smile at the camera with a thumbs up. The other Spinal Tap Member says “Look this is just not on, what the fucks sake is Spunk Rap, we are Spinal Taaa..... All of a sudden part of the stage breaks as it CRASH SNAP CRACKLES & POPs with all the members falling.

John Cena goes that’s it, I am coming out about a little tidbit of info that might just break some hearts out there & pause some leaks. Randy Orton gets up & says thank you!! My chance has finally cum. John Cena goes yes Randy we all can see & that’s why this John Cena is fed up of being in the wooden thing you find in Bedrooms. Just as this is going on Dusty slowly attempts to what looks like running. He finally arrives on stage & puts his hand on John Cena’s mouth.John Cena crashes to the ground because of the force of Dusty. While Dusty gets his composure back & John Cena gains consciousness a advert is called.

Hall of Fadomy Part Two

2007-09-03T10:01:00.000-07:00

The Advert

After a night out, there’s nothing worse then coming home & having a greasy mouth. Ladies that’s why we have come up with a ground breaking chew that makes your mouth, well feel mouthy again. The groundbreaking product de ices all the salt particles in your mouth, which together form the grease. (Lady wows “Wow I can feel my tongue again”)............Dont just listen to her, go out there & purchase De Ice & use your tongue for what you do best, confusing guys.....

Dusty finally gets his breath back after running a mighty 1000 mm’s & John Cena gains consciousness. You see the Rhodes aah....... we donts swing the normal way hee hee haeee, Leet me tell ya. Goldie, Coday & even old me, we swings the other way. So keep it quiet John Cena & let the Ladies out there believe in you. Dusty pats him on the cheeks & says that’s all I am going to say & calls for a stretcher.

John Cena straightens up his tie & pulls out the the trouser that is stuck in his crack. John Cena coughs...What I meant was that Spunk Rap will be the next album with a Todd Grisham guest appearance on the song ‘We wish we were bum...CRASH SNAP CRACKLE & POPs......

Oh dusty barnacles the crystal ball has broken. Sorry Ladies & Gents that this has ended so prematurely. I should really stop using a table made of playing cards, or at least join them with my glue.

Alvin, Simon & Theodore

2007-09-03T09:13:00.001-07:00

Does anyone remember the cartoon series, The Chipmunks? I even had the Chipmunk's trainers.

Legend Roberto Baggio

2007-08-11T12:09:00.000-07:00

If theres anyone out there trying to be a footballer, then watch this as you will want it twice as much.

The Power of Jeff Hardy

2007-08-02T12:10:00.000-07:00

If you ever doubted the power of Jeff Hardy, then you should look at this weeks dip in Raw ratings. Its quite simple the girls cannot resist Hardy's multi coloured rainbow hair, baggy combats & mismatch tights on his arms. Which is why the WWE Raw rating went down to a 2.5 as Mr Jeffery Nero Hardy is that much in demand. You see the Ladies & some of the Guys could not get their Hardy orgasm fix this week. So like true junkies they simply stopped watching & there my friends is the real answer. Lastly Vince needs to start selling Hardy vibrators, big market out there if you know what I mean.

Weird Football Transfers

2007-07-28T01:41:00.000-07:00

Look at these weird football transfers, who said Football is all about money?

Tony Cascarino - "some training equipment" (Crokenhill to Gillingham, 1982)
The fable that the Gills signed the Irishman for a pile of corrugated iron sadly turns out to be untrue - according to Cascarino, at least. The player himself insists the fee was actually "some training equipment". That's better, Tony. Not much better, but better.

Kenneth Kristensen - his weight in fresh shrimp (Vindbjart to Floey, 2002)
Premier League bung enquiries have led to little, but Lord Stevens should take note of this - there's definitely something fishy about this transfer. Striker Kenneth Kristensen made the switch between Norwegian third division rivals for a crate of crustaceans. The 23-year-old's weight, incidentally, was measured in a pre-match boxing-style weigh-in and determined to be 75kg.

Zat Knight - 30 tracksuits (Rushall Olympic to Fulham, 1999)
The lanky defender - twice capped by England - made the move from non-league football to glamorous Fulham for the princely sum of 30 tracksuits. Assuming the tracksuits came from Fulham chairman Mohamed Al-Fayed's shop Harrods, that could be a British transfer record.

Ernie Blenkinsop - £200 and 80 pints of ale (Cudworth to Hull City, 1921)
Blenkinsop, considered one of the best left-backs the country has ever seen, went on to become England captain and a Sheffield Wednesday legend. The Cudworth directors went on to have a very large hangover.

Lutel James - £200 and a bag of footballs (Hyde United to Bury, 1998)
Some 77 years after Blenkinsop was worth £200 and 80 pints of ale, striker James was worth £200 and a bag of footballs. Taking inflation into account, that makes Blenkinsop roughly 4,000,000 times better than James. Never mind, Lutel.

Marius Cioara - 15kg of pork sausages (UT Arad to Regal Hornia, 2006)
We've all heard of players feeling the pressure of big transfer fees, but it seems the thought of 15kg of sausages hanging over his head was too much for Romanian Cioara. The following day he announced his retirement from football - citing excessive sausage-related taunts - saying he was going to Spain to work on a farm. Presumably not a pig farm. Regal Hornia, understandably, demanded their sausages back. All in all, a dog's dinner of a transfer.

Ian Wright - a set of weights (Greenwich Borough to Crystal Palace, 1985)
It's amazing what non-league clubs will accept in lieu of actual money. Ian Wright proved to be worth more than his weight in weights, and went on to become a legend at both Palace and later Arsenal.

John Barnes - playing kit (Sudbury Court to Watford, 1981)
Another player to be sold for playing kit was John Barnes, who moved into league football in 1981. His transfer to Liverpool five years later was worth £900,000. Who knows how much he was worth after his rap on England's legendary World Cup 1990 anthem World In Motion? Less.

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Goldie Taking Bookings

2007-07-21T03:22:00.001-07:00

Goldust: Hello there withered friend? (straightening his wig) you see me & Pricey were just enjoying each others cigars. Say hello Pricey you naughty man?

Pricey: Well hello there (Posh English Accent)

Goldust: I was having a few blows of his & he was having a few blows of mine. Care to join us? three cigar smokers always make it more interesting?

Indie Booker: Oh no no, I am not here to smoke your cigar or cigars, but here to make a proposition.

Goldust: You want to make wine? I can show you, all we have to do is bend over & say gimme gimme, then hey presto we have wine.

Indie Booker: No no its not that.

Goldust: Then what is it, something exotic?

Indie Booker: Well I would like to book you in a show as Dustin Rhodes.

Goldust: Oooooooooh I hate being Dustin Rhodes, that is so not me. When will people realise I am just Goldust. I hate having to pretend to be Dustin Rhodes as its soooooo not me. You know I hate having to unzip this gold plastic, take off Shirley Basseys wig & not wear makeup.

Indie Booker: Well will you or wont you, as everyone likes the Dustin character way better than the Goldust character.

Goldust: Ok I will show up, but afterwoulds you will have the chance to receive a payment from me & lets hope you exceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeept it. Bye bye as he slowly kicks the door shut.

The End

Carlito or Lito?

2007-07-20T16:48:00.000-07:00

Carlito is a bit pissed, so here is an alternative storyline. He hangs out with Edge and helps him win each week. Slowly by slowly, Carlito starts to wear womens makeup, clothes and wigs. He starts to look very similar to Lita, much to Edges annoyance Carlito changes his name to Lito (gets rid of car bit). But Edge cannot say anything as he needs him to win. Eventually Lito gets a boob job. Edge goes balistic and goes into his dressing room to talk to him. We then hear noises in the dressing room & furniture flying around. Edge comes out (With lip stick all over his face, hair in a mess) and says what? I am the Rated R Superstar you know & smirks. While Lito is still shrieking in delight, in the background.

Edge=Heel

2007-07-18T10:22:00.000-07:00

Edge gets this ho to hook up with Rey Mysterio. When Rey links up with the Girl she turns out to be two months under 16. So Rey is being chased by the Anti- Peado Movement. Rey says I don’t look like a guy that hits on underage girls, I am so mature. All the women of the world can see that I have all the features of a Man. As a Man I will take on the Anti-Peado movement in a Gauntlet match. Edge says to the Anti Peado Movement he will destroy Rey and will be the last guy in the Gauntlet match. The Anti Peado Movement agree & say Edge will be the last entrant. Matt Hardy has noticed that Rey is being set up so at the PPV Matt Hardy will help Rey win. So what do you think?

-Also read the ECW Storyline below, its long but trust me its nice.

ECW Meeting Part One

2007-07-15T18:37:00.000-07:00

The meeting after ECWs first show on SciFi 2006.

Paul E: Hello there Vince/WWE Writer

Vince: Hello Paul

WWE Writer: Yeah Hello Paul

Vince: So whats on the agenda Paul.

Paul: I believe it is about ECW's new launch on SCI FI.

Vince: Ah I see, so what do you want to get off your chest.

Paul: I believe that ECW needs to be cutting edge.

Vince: Your right Paul, Edge is a great wrestler.

Paul: I was talking about ECW hello? The hardcore/sleazy promotion.

Vince: Oh I love sleaze, its so raw, get it hahahaha

Paul: This is not about Raw its about FN ECW.

Vince: Ahhh Candice baby, ooohh yeah, keep going.

Paul: Vince sorry to interrupt your fantasies but I came to talk about ECW.

Vince: Oh I am sorry Paul,

Table rumbles, out comes Candice from underneath the table crawling on her knees.

Paul: You do this in your board meetings.

Vince: How else can I get away with it, imagine if Linda found out.

Candice: Hello everyone, sorry I am late but I am the Secretary, for the meeting.

Vince: One hell of a Secretary.

Candice: Just got wipe my hands and lips, they have grapefruit juice on them.

Paul: Im sure they do, I mean lets get on with the meeting.

Vince: Yeah lets.

Paul: So I was thinking about a stripper, on the show that actually strips.

Vince: Well Paul, I think this will not be tolerated by Sci Fi, they said specifically, no sex that involves humans.

WWE Writer: Can I speak Sir.

Vince: Go ahead.

WWE Writer: Why not have a stripper, which teases the crowd, but doesn’t strip.

Vince: I like it, I like it alot.

Candice: You do.

Vince: Yes I do, but I meant the storyline baby.

Paul: Why doesn’t she just rip her FN bra off, what’s so hard about that.

Candice: Vince should I ?

Vince: I mean yes, no no not now.

Candice: To late Vince baby.

Vince: WOW WOW

Paul: Sorry Vince I didn’t know this was mating season, but what about ECW.

Vince: Whatever the writer says stays, cause I am the boss damn it.

Paul: mutters imitating Vinces voice.

WWE Writer: Sci Fi are not happy about the chants, I think we should tape the show and edit out the chants.

Vince: Brilliant we will edit out the chants.

Paul: If we edit out the chants bone head what will we have to show. This is what makes ECW.

WWE Writer: Also we cannot have to much hardcore wrestling as people may find it a turn off.

Paul: You advertise Hardcore, but people are to afraid to see it, what is this garbage.

WWE Writer: Its all about the ratings Sir.

Vince: Yes Paul if you cared about ratings, you wouldn’t be in this mess.

Paul: What’s that supposed to mean?

-Part two, continued below.

ECW Meeting Part Two

2007-07-15T18:20:00.000-07:00

Vince: I mean lets give the audience what they want.

Paul: I am giving the audience, what they want, you and your buffoon writer are the ones censoring everything.

Vince: Come on Paul lets be professional, when have I ever made stupid decisions.

Paul: Vince I want at least this on the show. A alien that gets beaten up by the Sandman and fast athletic matches.

WWE Writer: Sorry Sir but Sci Fi have said no Alien is getting beaten up, they get beaten by ratings they need no more beatings. But they will allow a Zombie to be beaten up. But on one condition the zombie should look like a crack addict, not a stereotypical zombie as it may be viewed as an alien by some of the Sci Fi fans.

Paul: God this is really stupid, I am writing compelling TV & you and this Network are more worried about bloody Star Trek or fuckin ET.

WWE Writer: On that subject, no mentioning of famous Sci Fi characters, as it may insult the Sci Fi community.

Paul: Can this get any more stupider. or fuckin Lame.

Vince: Paul can you mind your language its very vulgar.

Paul: You You can talk about being Vulgar, who has his attractive female employees giving him sexual favours in bloody meetings.

WWE Writer: Also the matches cannot be too athletic.

Paul: Why the bloody hell not?

WWE Writer: Since Kurt & Show are our Financial interests we cannot have them injured and on that note they need to win as its logical to put over the guys that you put more money into. The rest of the so called wrestlers are just fillers for the hardcore fans.

Paul: That’s it you take that bloody back or otherwise I will kick your ass, I am warning you, think Paul E Heyman cannot go hardcore.

Vince: Hold on there Paul nobody touches my writers except for me.

WWE Writer: So Angle needs to squash Credible as Angle is our prize asset.

Paul: Credible worked his ass off for ECW and now your telling me that he will have to job to Angle. He has been loyal, hardworking and trustworthy.

Vince: Your point being?

Candice: Vince its getting hot in here, I think I am wearing to many layers of clothing.

Candice strips Naked

Vince: Wow Wow oooooooooh huba huba

Paul: That’s it I have had enough, I am leaving this meeting right now, I cannot take anymore of this garbage.

Vince: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHH!

Candice: Harder Vinnie Harder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHH!

Paul Heyman Slams the door shut and exits

WWE Writer: Sir, so all the decisions discussed are final.

Vince: Yes cant you see I am busy AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!.

WWE Writer: Yes Sir one last thing, can I join in too?

Vince: I like your style, come on in kiss my ass like you usually do.

Paul Heyman calls Linda on his Phone

Paul: Hello Linda, Vince is in the board room and he wants you to come right away.

Linda: Vince probably has got his zipper jammed again.

Paul: Yeah that’s it the zipper is jammed, bye Linda.

Linda: Yeah thanks Paul.

Paul: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I always get the last laugh.

Linda arrives opens the door.

Linda: Oh my god Vince you lying bastard, you said you would never do this again.

Vince: No Linda, its not what it seems.

Linda: I want a divorce.

Vince: DAMN IT you think on screen my life is chaotic, Just see my real life?

The End

LL Backstage in WWE Part One

2007-07-06T14:13:00.000-07:00

Its been a while but PF is back for more...............Anyway on with the storyline & over to LL.

LL- Hey I am LL & I will be going backstage in WWE, to find out whats going on........so shhhhhssssssssssssssshhhhhh & I can see Cryme Tyme.

Opening door some footsteps,

Cryme Tyme are arguing over why they have not made an Impact on the tag division thus far. JTG says its this shabby name that they were given. Cryme Tyme, what is this Fischer Price, Waddington’s............We changing the name to The Johnson Crew, & its like that cause that’s the way it is..........

LL- time to move on & go behind the scenes in the busy day to day running of WWE.

Cena walking backstage holding the World Title, humming to himself what a rare sight me & this spinning world strap........All of a sudden Todd Grisham interrupts him, Cena winks & says Todd, Todd Grisham winks & says Jonathan........Cena says how the rose?? Todd replies My Rose always has a thorn, a very sharp thorn..........Todd then says to John been where the up boys go? John goes you mean time to ride the tiger huh Todd? Todd slowly unbuttons his shirt & says its time to hump de bump..........Just as then Vince comes in & says hump de bump huh? Todd & Cena sweating nervously say we mean...........Vince goes I get it you guys are both.............Phone Suddenly Rings....Vince answers & goes Hello. The person replies Vince you’re a poo poo head, Vince goes is that you Hulk??? Suddenly the person phoning Vinces mutters oh brother & can be heard running away, then falling to the ground & saying oh brother there goes my good knee...................... Vince goes very odd, anyway where were we guys???? Oh yeah I remember, John & Todd you are both fans of the something big, red, pointy & spicy!!!

-Continued in part two

LL Backstage in WWE Part Two

2007-07-06T13:52:00.000-07:00

Vince putting his arms around both of them nodding his head says the chilli peppers, that’s it the red hot chilli peppers!!!! I could see it by your back postures that you like them........ By the way Todd put a shirt on, you have no muscles or otherwise you would be the Champion right now.

Anyway I came by to see John Cena.............But Vinces phone rings again.......This time Shawn is on the phone wanting to discuss the plans for the next Pay Per view. Shawn says right now I just put up 5 houses for the boys & girls, held 3 seminars, raised money for the needy & taught three rookies to wrestle, so whats the plans for the title match????? at Summerslam?............Vinces say oh that’s nice to hear Shawn but you see I am real busy & I will chat to you later. Vince switches his phone off. & puts in his pocket.

He looks at Cena & says yes I think it’s that time of the day, you know when you start to kiss my ass, am I right John? Cena salutes & goes YES SIR.......Vince says that’s what I like about you John.......... that’s the sign of QUALITY..........

LL- from what I see it looks like Cena & Vince are pretty close, woah shhhhsssssh theres batista & everybodys fave Hardcore.

Batista chatting to Hardcore Holly that he can get him some juice............Hardcore says don’t talk about the juice, that reminds me of Ariel.........Batista goes sorry, so how do you do it? Like nowadays, after the unfortunate yeooooooow?........Hardcore sobbingly says that Gerald Briscoe showed him how he does it & that’s how he does it now. He said Patty got a bit too excited one time & that was the end of Geralds libido problems. So he was glad to help me out. Batista replies that was nice of Gerald.......

LL- Looks like this convo is going elsewhere & thats about enough news for today. I hope you PWBites out there know how hard it is to get info for the blog.........Car starting.....Peace

Combustion & Slobber Knockers Part One

2007-07-01T11:45:00.000-07:00

Anyway Joey Mercury is backstage with his scars & says he took alot of punishment at Armageddon. While he was resting over the weekend with Amy Zidian, they gave alot of punishment to the neighborhood as well. As they were up all night LONG woooh. He goes one thing Steph who the hell are you too tell my girl........ all of a sudden behind him appears Ric Flair & says long ago I was taking punishment & not only was I up all night, but I was up all weekends winking his eye to the camera wooooooooooooooh.

Joey goes what the fuck are you doing here? this is Mercury's precious tv time & Flair you are not even on SD. Flair replies since I am going through a divorce, I decided to keep a low profile. So I come on SD as so many people watch the show woooooooooh (Putting his thumbs in the air to the camera). Then Mercury says its time to quote some lyrics from a famous song "Get In The Ring"

"You got your bitches with

the silicone injections

Crystal meth and yeast infections

Bleached blond hair, collagen lip projections

Who are you to criticize my intentions"

Flair takes the cigar out of his mouth & replies I dont remember Sinatra singing that?

Then Mercury low blows Ric in the dick area really really, I mean really hard, Ric collapses to the ground & cigar falls out of his mouth, saying oh my, oh my, oh my this is gonna cost me! Oooooooooooooooooooooh! .

Joey Matthews sits on the ground & says are you ok Ric Sir, but Joey Matthews has just sat on the lit cigar & his ass starts to combust. Joey Matthews runs around help help someone spray some shit fluffy crap on my ass quick, my ass burns! Nearby In the golden shadow stands Goldust with a golden fire extinguisher..............

-Part two below.

Combustion & Slobber Knockers Part Two

2007-07-01T11:43:00.000-07:00

Joey Mercury is scheduled to have a match with the Boogeyman & The Great Khali & the Winner gets a title shot against Batista in an Iron Man Match. Joey looks in the air & goes Thank You, “this is gonna make my career , I can see my name on WWE boulevard in years to come”.

Ric Flair with a crutch about to be interviewed by Josh Mathews who is wearing a special second degree burns gel pant. Joey asks Ric why do you have a crutch when Mercury attacked your jizz factory.

Ric replies Josh Usually I am up all weekends using my jizz factory. But this weekend I was up. Josh interrupts “that must have been a relief Ric”. Ric puts his head down slowly & says “no no it wasn’t” pauses for a second “I was up cause I couldn’t get in too my bed, That low blow from Mercury wasn’t any old low blow that low blow really really blew me off Josh. So much so that I need too walk with a crutch, so that I don’t ruin the alignment”.

“Josh replies I feel your pain so what do you want to do looking in-between Rics legs, I mean say to Mercury, as that seems only possible right now”.

Ric puts his head down again, says “Mercury your riding high right now but you think the 21 Time Champion is gonna go down for a swollen percy, you got another thing coming” and then slowly leaves saying ooooh aahh.

Josh says we will have to see what Flair will do I mean say. All of a sudden Goldust is behind him & startles Josh. Goldust replies “did you like my cool sticky golden suds on your badonkadonk (Butt) last week, cause your beehind cheeks were really hot. It was a hard situation for me.

Joey Matthews steps away slowly & replies “yeah thanks it helped but I am wearing these cool gel pants, which are working wonders. I think my phone is ringing I mean vibrating, my wife she calls me time to time, I gotta go”. The camera focuses on Goldust waving with his left hand & stroking his Gold fire extinguisher with his right & mutters vibrating, he must be shy.

Back too Smackdown

Mercury is having his match & shoves the worms down Boogeymans pants & then pulls out a 10 foot ladder underneath the ring. Behind him comes Flair very slowly with the crutch while Mercury climbs the ladder. The cheers get higher as Flair slowly I mean slowly, gets closer. Mercury thinks they are cheering for him while he is about too fly off, Flair pushes the ladder & Mercury lands in the crowd. Khali is declared the winner by count out. Mercury is taken out by a stretcher & is out. Michael Cole says “we have confirmation that the ladder landed in between his legs & it looks messy”. JBL goes man I should invest in a Mens Genetalia company, just like you have invested in mens balls Michael Cole.

Later when everything is over it turns dark & shattered dreams music plays & out comes Goldust. Goldust replies I will heal these grape fruit pains by using my new bait the lovely Gold Girl & starts too laugh. Out comes a woman dressed in a Golden Flocked suit. Who gets on her knees hissing & rubbing her suit while Goldust rubs her cheeks & moves his legs around her mouth.

-Part three below or blow.

Combustion & Slobber Knockers Part Three

2007-06-30T19:46:00.000-07:00

Mercury is in hospital & he is looking through a WWE magazine & is cursing every second. He calls out the Nurse saying he feels uncomfortable & the food sucks. In comes Nurse Slobberknockers. She says is there anything wrong? Mercury replies no no I was just practicing a promo. He goes man I would tuck you in, but I had some dum ladder fall on my dick. She goes not a problem she will just wait until he gets better or it gets bigger again, after all a Nurse always nurses her patients until they feel real good. She fluffs his pillow & licks his chest. Just as she is about too leave she says “oh yeah there will be some body visiting you”. Mercury replies you? She goes “no two people booked too see you”.

An alcoholic patient goes I am sober in the hallway “yes yes yes” suddenly he sees Goldust & Gold Girl, goes “oh man I must have been knocking the brews in my sleep”.

In comes Goldust, Nurse Slobber Knockers starts to scream & Gold Girl sneaks in taking her clipboard. Gold Girl jumps too Mercurys bed/ward like cat woman & lands on Mercurys bed. Mercury sits up & says who are you. She shuts his lips with her fingers & rubs her tongue downwards & stops in between the legs. Mercury is screaming & says ooooh aaaaaaaah, wait I got my feeling back. Then Gold Girl jumps out of bed. She arrives in the office & Goldust says “done already” who is wearing a doctors coat. Nurse Slobberknockers is screaming & they both leave. Goldust says we will play Dr next time.

Nurse Slobberknockers goes to Mercurys ward & says your guests were the weirdest. Mercury is up throwing his sticky underpants under the bed & says Nurse don’t worry about it, we can comfort each other right now, she rips off her dress.

Mercury returns too Smackdown & says I am no renegade, I don’t Rage Against The Machine & neither am I a Public Enemy. So listen Flair you put me in hospital & caused temporary paralysis in-between my legs. But a gold biatch magically solved it with some lubrication.

Flair comes out & says you know what, I had some swollen honey balls but I didn’t cry about it, I came out & threw you off a 10ft ladder. I think we should settle this man to man in a wrestling submission match.

Mercury says Flair a match is what you want so you can say you got me over. But I just called you wife & she has been watching SD as have her Lawyers. Actually they are in the audience. Flair goes dam & runs out of SD about to enter his car. There standing is Goldust, Ric goes get the fuck out my way, Goldust moves & says why so rude. Flair replys if you ever had the anatomy to like a woman you would know & drives off. Goldust says but I do, Golden Girl is standing holding Mercury’s pic & is wearing a lip service t shirt. Then Goldust says where did Josh go must check if his badonkadonk (butt) is healing.

It’s a Rap

Peace & comment if you want?????

ECW Gone Sci Fi

2007-06-20T10:21:00.000-07:00

Last year I wrote this card for the then new ECW brand & I also took in consideration the sci fi audience. When I posted this on a few sites, some people actually believed it & were thanking me which was quite funny.

BREAKING NEWS ECW CARD FOR SCI FI DEBUT.............

Paul Heyman v Darth Vader in a whos the boss match.

Tommy Dreamer V Leanord Nimoy in a beam me up match.

FBI V Mulder & Scully in secret steel cage match.

Axl & Balls V Bigfoot & The Yeti in monster tag match.

Rhyno V Godzilla with HAN SOLO as guest referee.

Sabu V Sandman V Chewbacca V Nessie in a 4 way dance.

Luke Sky Walker V Justin Credible in a Kendo/Lightsabre match.

Terry Funk V KING KONG in an old timers brawl.

The Daleks V Amish Roadkill & Dr Who in a rightness match.

Taz V Nova w PARTNERS R2-D2 & C-3PO in submit ass slapping match.

Princess LeiaV Francine in a strip mud fight to bare boobs match.

Blue World Order v Men In Black

Yeeooooooooww

2007-06-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

Before Hardcore Holly’s match he goes to the fridge, which he brought from Big D. He gets some ice, & goes “odd its like someone has been toying with this fridge” while he is taking the ice cubes one falls in his pants. Hardcore Holly gets a little stiff & makes some sound (like a cat meowww but his are yeoww yeoww noises. This gets him all motivated for the match & he beats Snitsky.

Back in the parking lot he goes, “that’s the way I win my damn matches, damn I need a yeoww everyweek”

Hardcore Holly sees the ECW interviewer & says he needs a quick one. “Since you’re a diva? This comes naturally for you” ECW interviewer nods her head & starts her vacuuming, with Holly going yeoowwwwww yeoooooooING.

Hardcore again wins the match, Tazz goes “I don’t know what motivates Holly so much but I want some of it too”. Joey Styles say’s well we do it in commentary every week.

Next week Hardcore plays the video of Torrie yeooowing him on the titantron & Carlito gets distracted. Hardcore quickly rolls up Carlito for the victory.

Hardcore Holly next week returns with one match away to the ECW title. He see’s the matchup & says “this one is gonna be to easy, I can wait to beat that damn bastard”

All of a sudden Ariel scratching her hands around the floor & moving on her knees locks in to Hardcores dick. Hardcore starts off with “yyyaahishishi ye ye ye yeooooooooooow” then all of sudden Hardcores smile turns upside down as he starts to scream...................Then the next thing we see is Hardcore running around with blood & white stuff shooting out like a hose. Ariel has Hardcore’s meat in her mouth which she bit off with her fangs.

While Hardcore is screaming, Thorn puts his arm around Hardcore & says “there there never get a yeoooow from a Lady with fangs. The next thing we see is Ariel putting her head up in front of Hardcore & making a Vince like swallow.........a loud Ariel burp indicates the digestion. Hardcore screaming just faints muttering damn. With Ariel & Thorn gothic dancing the story ends.

Team Home-O Begins

2007-06-09T15:38:00.000-07:00

Here is a favourite storyline of mine, which I wrote around this time last year.

Kanyon comes on RAW and says he was held down because he was homosexual. He says the world is against homosexuals, how many World Leaders can you call Gay?, how many actors can you call Gay and how many Moments in wrestling are Gay?

Kanyon says he was fired for sniffing, not the usual sniffing but sniffing Mens asses in the changing rooms. This is why he is forming new faction which will be a Home for Homos, known as (Team Home-O).

Firstly Kanyon will introduce a team, one guy is a lanky and the other is a shrimp. Kanyon says that they have the talent and the look, but because of there homosexuality they are held down(The two are rubbing each others asses and nodding there heads, the shrimp has to stand on a stool to rub the lanky guys ass).

Then Kanyon introduces a woman who looks like a man (Guy in drag whose saline pads keep falling out). Kanyon says the very lovely Ms Dragley is not allowed to compete in Womens division just because she is homosexual. Kanyon says they have a mission and that is to make WWE RAW GAY!

First mission, Ric Flair is singing and see's Ms Dragley, he chats her up, gives her a whirl and then they go into the closet. Ric comes out gasping for air and Kanyon is standing by the side recording Ric. Kanyon says so you finally came out of the closet huh? Ric hides his face in his Jacket and then comes back attacking Kanyon saying in his Ric voice "Give me the tape Im wanin ya".

Kanyon and his Team Home- O take pictures of Shane rubbing another guys ass and Stephanie on her knees about to suck a vagina. Really Shane was just letting the guy pass and Stephanie was putting a lips badge on a female colleague's mini skirt, but the timing of the pictures makes them look like they are performing gay acts.

This leads to a the Come out of the closet cage match between Team Home-O and Ric Flair/Stephanie/Shane. Each member comes out of the Closets after 5 minutes, the winning team is the one who gets the pin first. Stephanie jumps ship at the end and becomes Queereen of Team Home-O.

Motley Crue Too Young to Fall in Love

2007-06-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

Watch This Space

2007-05-26T16:06:00.000-07:00

This is the first of step of Pole Foam's venture & get this all the freedom to do what I please. So stay tuned as in next one or two days I will be doing some typing.